How to Communicate BEFORE the wedding night
Pick a quiet moment to ask your soon-to-be-spouse “are you feeling nervous at all about our wedding night?” Odds are, he or she will be relieved to have the opportunity to talk about it. Talk about what your hopes and fears are. If your partner has sexual experience or you want to prevent pregnancy, talking about safer sex is essential. You may want to visit a counselor, or talk about sex during your pre-wedding counseling. If you are too nervous to bring up the subject of sex, consider leaving a magazine open, or even forwarding this article in an email.
How to communicate DURING sex
The most important sex tip for being a great lover is to learn how to communicate in bed. For nervous first timers, it might seem more natural to stay silent; dirty talk can be intimidating. Try saying, “That feels good” or just moaning a little when you like something. Be observant of your partner as well – if they’re quiet and still, you might want to try something different. You can ask, “Does that feel good?” or “Can I try…” Most importantly, speak up when something doesn’t feel good. Sex can and should give both of you pleasure.
Will she bleed? Will it be painful?
When a woman loses her virginity, it is possible for it to be a little bloody or painful. However, it shouldn’t last for too long, and it is almost never very serious. To make things easier, make sure there’s plenty of foreplay before you try penetration. You’ll also want to have a good lubricant. I recommend a brand called “Slippery Stuff” because it is safe to use with latex, and it’s glycerin-free. (Glycerin can cause yeast infections.) Even if you use a lubricated condom, you’ll want to use extra lube. And, if you’re afraid of bleeding on the hotel sheets, bring a towel with you, or your own sheets.
Will he be able to maintain an erection? What happens if he can’t?
The pressure of the wedding night can be too much for many men. If things aren’t “working,” try to change up the mood. Spend some time kissing, and fondling each other. Perhaps make a game out of how many different body parts you can kiss, or be a little more serious by talking about the wedding, your love for each other, and milestones ahead of you.
Will I be any good? How can I wow my new husband or wife?
Sex, like most things, takes practice. You are likely to be a little clumsy and to feel a little goofy. Take things slowly, and try to listen to your partner. Find out what feels good, and what doesn’t. Don’t be afraid to ask! But don’t concentrate on how mind-blowing (or not!) the physical feelings are. Instead try to be gentle with one another, and focus on how amazing it is to finally be in each other’s arms as a married couple.